Fire In The Hole!
by FlyingLimesGoWeeeeeWithToast
Summary: Ever come across bad fanfiction? Ever hope someone would be kind enough to let the writer know what they're 'doing it wrong? Well hope no more, because Toast and Lime are on task! And compiled a guide to better fanfic writing anyone would benefit from!
1. An Introduction

A brief Introduction to our guide:

Hello everyone and welcome to FlyingToastOwns and LimeGoesWeeeee's guide to better fanfiction writing "Fire In The Hole!".

As you are now a part of our resistance group/family, you may call us Toast and Lime. Every chapter we will talk about a common problem in fanfiction and common disturbances that occur when reading fanfiction.

We hope that with every lesson you become a better author (and/or laugh and nod in recognition) and help us spread the knowledge by linking to our knowledge base/Guide.

However, we must acknowledge that as we write this we are also learning ourselves, (hence the reason were posting this here and not lecturing at an university). We hope that these tips, coming from people you can identify with, will mean more; especially since they're more centered towards fanfiction writing.

Kind Regards,

Toast and Lime


	2. Description upon Description

Chapter 1 – Starting with A LOT of Descriptions

"_I woke up with my usual bed hair, my long golden locks fell across my shoulders in ringlets, not yet as tame as I would like them to be. I floated across the floor of my room with undeniable grace towards my bathroom in my pink princess like nightgown, with purple flowers, glitter and different types of incrusted crystals. The nightgown was a present from my daddy; he was the head of the mafia, and therefore had lots of drug money, with which he buys me pretty stuff. My daddy is tall, around six feet, with copper hair and beautiful green eyes that he thankfully passed down to me through his spotless DNA. My mother, who tragically died at childbirth, was beautiful with golden hair and green eyes. My daddy used to tell me I am her exact copy sometimes. _

_Where was I again? Oh yes, I was floating towards the bathroom. I bet you're wondering why I'm floating, well, I have superpowers. Floating is only the beginning of my superpowers, but we'll get to that later._

_Anyways, Where was I again? Oh yes, I was floating towards the bathroom..."_

See anything wrong with this? See anything not wrong with this?

I think we've all come across this issue in our fanfiction reading days. Description upon description upon, guess what? DESCRIPTION. Here's a couple of tips to stay away from this horrible habit that most of us seem to take on when our word count is a little too short.

WHY this is wrong:

1. People get BORED. Who wants to sit around reading a description for a whole chapter? People want action, plot, setting, ect. SOMETHING that can be justified as having a value or worth to the overall story.

2. Long descriptions are not necessary. Many people, including myself, tend to create their own images for characters as the story progresses and may stray away from the vision that you have created. That is not to say you cannot create an image for the character, but there is a limit to everything. You don't need a whole paragraph to describe someone BRUSHING THEIR TEETH. Keep is straight, short, and sweet.

3. The "where was I again monster." People might even forget what is happening in the story because they got distraction by your very own descriptions. Oftentimes as soon as the reader notices nothing is happening, they hightail out of your story to go find another one. Preferably one with not as many descriptions.

4. It makes you look like your trying too hard, people don't expect you to be Dillard or Faulkner, leave the fail attempts at sounding like a pro author at home and stay true to yourself and your writing.

HOW to avoid it:

1. If you have to scroll up to remember where you were in that scene, and you have not, in fact, stopped typing at all. You have a problem there. Remember the readers are not you, and they have to be able to understand what's happening simply from reading. Avoid too many run-on sentences.

2. Avoid describing simple tasks, if you tell the reader the character went to the bathroom to get ready, even that is enough, because people already have schemas that go along with what "getting ready" entails. And lets face it, everyone knows what brushing your teeth is like and if you don't … you have internet? The exception of course being, when something is blocking the normal routine, and that particular day, it is out of the norm. Think of it this way, when was the last time you were reading a book for your English class and the author described the main characters morning routine. I can name loads of books where the characters seem to never take a shower, It's not because the don't do it. It's because the writer knows WE DON'T CARE.

NOW here is an example of what our horrible little example would look like, done right, not perfect, but way better.

"_I woke up with my golden hair in disarray. My favorite nightgown tangled between me and the sheets. I looked around the room, in my aunt's house and walked towards the bedroom to complete my morning routine. When I looked in the mirror I remembered that picture my father showed to me of my mother and thought of how right he was when he said we resembled one another. I shook away the memories and completed my routine in silence..."_

NOTICE I left most of the information intact, despite the fact that I didn't particularly want to because fanfics that start with tragic stories of dead parents are automatically given a red flag in my mind. The information on the parents can be given later (IF EVER, heh) and although the selection is a lot smaller that's not a problem. However, if as a writer you need a lot of word padding like this, then there's another problem brewing.

SO that concludes your first lesson on becoming a better writer, fanfiction edition. We hope you take these tips into consideration and help us build a fanfiction where stories don't lower our IQ, one topic at a time.


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